I went through my journal to find some awesome and/or jumbo tidbits to share. And I read "when did I start having memories like this?"

And it's a good point. When did I start having memories like this? When I wrote it, I was just feeling a bit old, but on reflection it's a more profound question. When do we start being who we are?

The easy answer is when we're born, but even birth is just a transition. We are alive in the womb, and for a time we breathe our mothers' air and eat our mothers' food. The buddhists ask "What was your original face?"

Last night I was laying in bed with my eyes half closed and I imagined death. A fork in the stomach, or a fall from a ladder. It's not so far-fetched.

And sometimes, if we're going to get right down to it, it seems like the easiest path. After all, I'm starting to believe that our bodies are temporary resting places of the soul. We are caught up in our birth and our death and all that falls between them, blind to the universe that exists beyond train schedules and apple fritters.

So why not just speed the process? Why not jump to the next stage in the journey?

That's where I was around 2:38AM.

And then a prfound understanding came. Love came. It's all that there is in our life that is good. It's all that our life is.

All the love we create is all the love we have. We are in this cycle for as long as we choose to be, and we choose to be here out of fear or out of love.

Our greatest power in this world is compassion. Not in an abstract sense. Compassion can create tangible change in the lives of those around us. We are all our own personal Jesus Christs. We are all saviours to the human race.

I was an atheist for most of my life, but last night as I lay with my eyes half-closed in bed a profound understanding came. Love came, and brought god with it.

-Trevor

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