Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Oldies but Goldies
The Internet has been around for a while now. I think I've been online for about ten years now. That's just insane.
I keep forgetting how completely wicked the whole thing is. I mean, there's just so much stuff out there.
So in celebration of my wired decade, I've decided to share some of my favorite websites. I've seen all of these so many times, I almost forget how incredibly awesome they are. But they really are hilarious, so here you go (in no particular order):
The Smoking Gun
The Freedom of Information Act, exploited for entertainment. It's an awesome site, with real copies of police reports and court documents for all of your favorite celebrity arrests, nuisance lawsuits and leaked starlet sex tapes. Check out the Backstage Pass section which features contract riders from some major bands. Did you know Eric Clapton tours with a Foosball Table?
Bert Is Evil
Yeah, well we all knew he was gay, but what's with the Evil? The thing that makes this site so awesome is that a picture of Bert with Osama Bin Laden actually made it into an AP news photo. Think I'm joking?
Eric Conveys an Emotion
This guy's been an internet celebrity for so long, he makes the Star Wars Kid look like, well, a kid. Work with me here, it's the internet so everything goes faster. Anyway, if you've ever wondered "What does Eric look like when he just took a pill, and it could be aspirin or cyanide, but he doesn't know which?" Then this is the site for you. Eric shows us a different surfer-submitted emotion every day. Or every once in a while anyway. It doesn't really matter, he's got a huge archive that'll occupy you for as long as you want it to.
What's in Jeremy's Wallet?
This site is from 1996. That's so ancient in internet time! It's like... way old and stuff! This was the first 'nothing' page I ever found. I think it really captures some essential quality of the internet. Where else would this much effort and attention be put on someone's wallet? You'd never waste the time or the ink on making a pamphlet about a wallet, but in virtual space everything goes. Class A Vintage Internet, right here.
TheSpark.com Science Section
In the same vein as The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project (also hilarious), TheSpark.com Science Section features documentation of some ostensibly scientific behaviour in side-splitting detail. There's the Fat Project, where two people eat like mad to try and gain thirty pounds in thirty days. Or the Date My Sister project which is the guys who run the site trying to fix up one of their sisters. My personal favorite is the Stinky Feet project, where they deliberately try to induce a severe case of athletes foot with liarous consequences. I'd advise the weak-of-stomach to avoid the Stinky Meat project. That's all I'll say about it.
And I'm done.
-Trevor
(Comments take a few minutes to appear!)
I keep forgetting how completely wicked the whole thing is. I mean, there's just so much stuff out there.
So in celebration of my wired decade, I've decided to share some of my favorite websites. I've seen all of these so many times, I almost forget how incredibly awesome they are. But they really are hilarious, so here you go (in no particular order):
The Smoking Gun
The Freedom of Information Act, exploited for entertainment. It's an awesome site, with real copies of police reports and court documents for all of your favorite celebrity arrests, nuisance lawsuits and leaked starlet sex tapes. Check out the Backstage Pass section which features contract riders from some major bands. Did you know Eric Clapton tours with a Foosball Table?
Bert Is Evil
Yeah, well we all knew he was gay, but what's with the Evil? The thing that makes this site so awesome is that a picture of Bert with Osama Bin Laden actually made it into an AP news photo. Think I'm joking?
Eric Conveys an Emotion
This guy's been an internet celebrity for so long, he makes the Star Wars Kid look like, well, a kid. Work with me here, it's the internet so everything goes faster. Anyway, if you've ever wondered "What does Eric look like when he just took a pill, and it could be aspirin or cyanide, but he doesn't know which?" Then this is the site for you. Eric shows us a different surfer-submitted emotion every day. Or every once in a while anyway. It doesn't really matter, he's got a huge archive that'll occupy you for as long as you want it to.
What's in Jeremy's Wallet?
This site is from 1996. That's so ancient in internet time! It's like... way old and stuff! This was the first 'nothing' page I ever found. I think it really captures some essential quality of the internet. Where else would this much effort and attention be put on someone's wallet? You'd never waste the time or the ink on making a pamphlet about a wallet, but in virtual space everything goes. Class A Vintage Internet, right here.
TheSpark.com Science Section
In the same vein as The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project (also hilarious), TheSpark.com Science Section features documentation of some ostensibly scientific behaviour in side-splitting detail. There's the Fat Project, where two people eat like mad to try and gain thirty pounds in thirty days. Or the Date My Sister project which is the guys who run the site trying to fix up one of their sisters. My personal favorite is the Stinky Feet project, where they deliberately try to induce a severe case of athletes foot with liarous consequences. I'd advise the weak-of-stomach to avoid the Stinky Meat project. That's all I'll say about it.
And I'm done.
-Trevor
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