IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE POST BEFORE THIS ONE: STOP NOW
So you've decided to read the e-mails. Great! Just don't read this one first. The past two posts are sort of a unit to be consumed in series. There's lots of ideas in this one that are developments of thoughts I had in the last e-mail. If you read this one first you'll either come away completely confused or just think I'm a total whacko. So stop now, go on to the post immediately before this one and work up.

-Trevor

IF YOU DON'T LIKE LONG E-MAILS THAT DEAL DIRECTLY WITH THE QUESTION OF DIVINITY IN THE UNIVERSE: STOP NOW
These e-mails here are incredibly long, like three printed pages each, and they deal directly with the questions of who god is, where god is, what our universe is and how we as human beings fit into all of that.

You may be in a place where these ideas are not what you want or need to confront in your life. If that's the case, I urge you to scroll down to the parts of this website that deal with daily life in our apartment. They're much shorter, and a lot more fun to read. There will be a time when you do want to read these e-mails. Just make sure that when you read them you want to read them. That's all I ask.

-Trevor (again)

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE LEFT, HERE IS THE SECOND E-MAIL:

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Felisa,

As has become our custom, I’ve got to start this e-mail by saying how awesome you are! Lol.

I don’t think I’ve ever talked with someone who ‘got’ all of this stuff so quickly and so explicitly before. I’m pretty amazed at how quickly you found the essence and roots of my argument. That’s mondo-impressive.

It’s funny ‘cause I have all of these ideas in a theoretical vacuum--which is to say I do some of my own reading and exploration, but I’ve never had any sort of formal instruction regarding religious history or anything like that. It’s such a pleasure to hear what you have to say about these things because you actually know what you’re talking about! I’m afraid at this point I’m going to be stuck on you like a very inquisitive, religious, information-leech.

Maybe that wasn’t the best image to use there. Lol

I know what you mean about worrying that the universe is just chaos spiraling down in on itself. But I know for sure that the universe cannot be entirely without order, by the simple fact that I exist as a very structured, highly ordered being. Humans project order out onto the world around us. I’ve heard that in fundamentalist Islam, that creating artistic works that represent any part of god’s creation is considered sinful idol worship. I think that’s connected to the same idea. It’s sort of a sideways connection, hard to express, but there all the same.

If we imagine that the will of god is simply the laws of physics. And that as human beings we have invented ways and ways and ways of bending those laws to lengthen the time we spend on this earth. To keep us away from go longer.

A good example of this sort of bending is electricity. Which I think is about as magical thing as exists on earth. I’m going to do a teensy bit of physics here, so watch out. [grin]

Water sitting on the top of a very tall cliff has a certain amount of “potential energy” (imagine the niagara river at the top of the falls) and when that water falls the energy is released. Although released probably isn’t the right word, “converted” is better. As it falls on the rocks at the bottom it pounds on them and the “falling” energy is converted into mechanical vibration, or friction or a million types of other energy. I bet if you measure the water temperature at the bottom of Niagara Falls, you’ll find it’s a bit hotter than at the top because of the friction caused by the water beating against the rocks. (That, of course, is absolute wild speculation, there’s lots of places the energy could go besides heat, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were true.)

This is all basically just the first law of thermodynamics “Matter and energy cannot be created nor destroyed, but merely altered in form.”

So, when that water is falling, instead of having it fall on rocks, we have it fall through a tube with a big fan blade inside, specifically designed to convert falling energy into spinning energy. Then we use spinning energy to induct electrical current in a wire. All we are doing is taking a part of the universe that is unbalanced (the amount of “potential” energy in the water at the top of the falls vs the waters rest state at the bottom of the falls) and capturing the imbalance in an electrical circuit. (Interesting note: another way to say voltage is “potential difference.”)

So where was I going with this. Ah yes… so remember my thing about the dimensions in which we overlap, and the dimensions in which we are separate? And the universe we can perceive is just the places where we do not overlap. This whole world is just our separation from God. So what do we use electricity for?

We take the “potential difference” of Niagara Falls (It’s funny I keep misspelling Niagara… so far it’s been Niagra and then Naiagra. But then you never see that thanks to the miracle of editing! Phew!)

Sorry about that, I’ll start that thought again. We take the potential difference of Niagara Falls and use to heat our homes, give us light and television. We use the power we get from our separation from God to prolong the separation. I think I said that before, and I still haven’t quite explained it.

We’re using the separation to keep ourselves alive longer—x-ray machines, open heart surgery, even the electric oven I use to cook food to kill bacteria. Each of these inventions has the purpose of keeping us alive longer, to keep us from reaching that point where we return to God.

I think it’s fair to say that whatever God is, that the rules of physics can be accurately described as the laws of God. Because they really are the only “rules” that can’t be broken. We can bend them, find ways to twist them but never break them. We can never invent a perpetual motion machine, not so long as we exist in this universe and breathe this air.

I think I’m done with that point, but you probably know me well enough now (though we still, technically, don’t know each other at all) to guess that I’ve still got other stuff to say. J

My roommate and I were talking last night, and recently I’ve been really God-heavy. Before I was just presenting these as ideas that I had, and that had no relation outside of myself. But lately, I’ve started to think that there is some kernel of truth here. It’s a very dangerous place that I’m getting into.

Because I’m starting to dig deep into heavy theological points, and I’m starting to state with some confidence that what I believe to be absolute truth is actually an absolute truth, I’ve got to be very careful that I don’t get attached to the idea that I’m somehow special because of these ideas.

When you start to try and define God for other people, they get very nervous and upset pretty quickly. It’s a word with such deep and powerful connections to what they believe is absolute in the universe. In some ways, people have built their identity in relation to god. Because for them, god is the fixed reference point in the universe, the self is just a fleeting thought that passes in and out of existence. What’re the only sure things in this life? Death and taxes.

Well, given what I know now, I’m pretty sure that I don’t *have* to pay taxes. I mean, in order for me to continue living where and how I do now, I need to pay taxes. Otherwise I’ll be arrested. But I can not pay taxes and still exist. I might exist in a prison cell somewhere, but then I’d get all my meals for free, so I’d not only be paying no taxes, but living off the taxes. Kinda of a strange deal.

I guess it’s the same way with death. If I’m going to continue to exist in the world then I have to die, if I want to continue in what Buddhists call the endless cycle of rebirth, then yeah. To be born again I first must die.

But I think that through meditation, or music, or archery, or whatever it is that we do, we can reach a state of unbeing. We can get out of this circle even for just a second, but that second will beyond time and last forever. That’s where that experience of flow comes from. Buddhists call them kensho moments, or you could say that you experience enlightenment. Christians and other monotheists will say that they felt the presence of God.

They say that when someone sees God, or knows God that they are set on fire with belief and they have a radiance, and I understand that now. I feel that I have seen His face, whatever it is. And I really don’t like capitalizing "His", but I suppose its necessary to remind us that He doesn’t refer to a man. We just use the metaphor of a human being to understand what this thing is that is holy and divine in the universe. But if the metaphor is all there is....?

I guess now I feel like I have touched this truth. Like when I was eight and for the first time I swam down and touched the bottom of the neighbor’s deep end. I burst through the surface of the water pumping my fist and shouting. This time, though, it’s like the pool is infinitely deep, and instead of coming up to the surface, I fell out the bottom and now I’m falling back down to the surface, about to do a cannonball so big that it’ll splash all of the water out of the pool.

But what I need to remember is that the truth, that God is the only important thing, and even though I am God, so are you, and so is everyone else.

It’s interesting that you said I should start my own religion. To be honest, in high school I always wanted to start my own religion. You know why? You get to set your own holidays.

There’s a big book in Ottawa (well, a metaphorical big book… just like santa’s list) that has all of the “officially sanctioned” religions in Canada, along with the dates of their holidays. And because our constitution guarantees the freedom of religious expression, then anyone from any religion can legitimately ask to have their holy days off without repercussions at work. So I figure, lets find out what the bare minimum requirements are for a religion, get officially registered and then declare that every day is a religious holiday. Then we get to take days off work whenever we want to. Sure they would be unpaid vacation days, but it’s just like calling in sick except that your boss is constitutionally prohibited from reprimanding you.

Whaddya think?

But seriously, in the last week I have been thinking about starting my own *real* religion, but that’s a dangerous path because it leads to where people would start to believe in the religion, and not really evaluate these ideas independently. I think that if people recite these words that I say as truth, then the point has been lost. Because the point is that I cannot tell you the truth. I cannot lead you to god, everyone must find god within themselves.

However, I wholeheartedly encourage you to take these ideas out and begin your own religion, a church of one. Find out what your absolute truth is and then radiate it out into the world like a beacon. I think it’s interesting that Christ said “I will make you fishers of men.” There’s a neat metaphor there, snagging these fish and pulling them out of the world of the water into air and sunlight. Like men lost in this world, fish believe that they need the water to exist. They need the water to breathe, they need the water to live, but they do not need it just to exist.

Also I think in that statement, Christ was referring to the power of personal relationships. That once you understand your own non-being you can rework the world in the image of your own choosing. The Buddhists say that as a soul reached the highest levels of enlightenment, it experiences nothing but the pleasures of the earth. This is because the process of enlightenment is a process of letting go of all things. Naturally, it’s much easier to release the things that cause you suffering. Once you have released all of those things, then the next step, the hardest step is to understand that the pleasure itself is suffering.

One of the Buddhist sutras is the heart sutra “There is no suffering, no cause of suffering, no cessation of suffering and no path.”

We need to understand that this universe we live in is a separation from god. I’m very sure of that. Even the love and the beauty we perceive here is just a shadow of the real deal. Like Plato in his cave, we have never seen the sun. What light what beauty must exist on the other side of the curtain?

I think this divide between human and divine is what Christ was trying to break when he tore the curtain in the temple. I know that’s the right story, but I’m not sure of what happened. This is where I need you, my religious-studies-major friend to help me out. What story was that?

Okay, this e-mail has now reached its maximum limit. But I’m not going to apologize for it, and I hope that you won’t either. I think we’ve both been spending a lot of time apologizing for something that we are both tremendously interested and engaged in. I think that we should celebrate what we are both contributing to this incredible exploration that we’re on.

So thank you for reading. Thanks for helping me ground my ideas in this world, because I think I tend to forget that these truths are not self-evident for everyone around me. So having a person like you, who can grasp these concepts because you have the theoretical background, is really essential for my personal development of these ideas. I’m still a little spooked out that you e-mailed me this week because before last Friday, I wasn’t interested in all of this, nearly so much as I have been since.

I think there is no such thing as coincidence.

So thank you for entering my life, thanks for making the choice to be part of this, even though neither of us knew we were making the choice to begin with.

And since I’ve been so heavy I’m going to write a little bit more that’s just about me, and not about all of this stuff…

I had a terrific date with the girl I told you about, today. Also I bought some nifty clothes:

* 1 Army surplus dress uniform jacket with a patch on the arm with a Torii Gate on it.
* 1 Hawaiian shirt that’s more 60’s than Hawaiian
* 1 Orange hoodie with the NASA logo on the front.

If you thought I looked good before…

You were crazy ‘cause we’ve never seen each other! (But I do look good, just so you know [Grin])

Heh alright so if it was at maximum length before, this e-mail has now pushed into extreme uncharted waters. Yet still I refuse to apologize, simply because I know that you’re enjoying reading these e-mails as much as I’m enjoying writing them. I hope you know that the same is true of the e-mails that you write and I read. Everything is awesome.

Again, I hope you don’t mind but I’ll probably post this e-mail on awesomejumbo.com. Why don’t you post your replies on your blog and lets see if this discussion doesn’t spread outwards from us? Also I’m CC-ing it to my roommate, so please feel free to include him in the replies. I think you two are both very important in developing and strengthening these ideas. And since they take so darned long to type out, I figure I’d save myself the hassle. Just be glad that he’s getting your hand-me-downs and not the other way. ;-)

Love, (not in that way, but love nonetheless)

-Trevor “The T-Unit” Coleman

P.S. This e-mail was written a bit last night, a bit this morning and a bit this afternoon.

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