Plato says:
Why hello Sophocles!
Sophocles:
Why hello Plato! How's that work coming with the absolute forms?
Plato says:
Not bad, how's your work coming with the referencing things just enough to let people know that you actually know what the symbols mean without actually using the symbols?
Sophocles:
It's pretty good, but not nearly as good as my quest for ultimate truth.
Plato says:
Is that a video game?
Sophocles says:
Nope, just, uhh, what's actually around us and stuff.
Plato says:
Wow, very profound.
Sophocles says:
Indeed.
Plato says:
So now that our work as dramatic set-pieces is complete shall we get to the real work of guessing at what the author really means?
Sophocles says:
Indeed! We must since we are just dramatic set-pieces.
Plato says:
Well, I don't know about you, but I'm guessing that with all of this self-referential humour, he's probably getting at how he hates self-referential humour.
Sophocles says:
That's interesting, what makes you say that?
Plato says:
Well, I mean, he can write anything he wants, can't he? He could have us watching a Leafs game from the platinum seats, or even seeing the pyramids being built. But instead he keeps bringing us back here to this place where we're referencing only ourselves. And it's annoying. He wouldn't make it annoying if it wasn't supposed to be annoying.
Sophocles says:
Yeah but you weren't referencing yourself there, you were talking about the Leafs game which is totally him making a reference to something that's not you, so you're not really being self-referential.
Plato says:
Ah that's true. Perhaps it is not us that is self-aware, maybe it is the larger system of our dialogue. You must remember that all of this talk is happening within a much more "self-aware" context. I mean, look we're characters in a sort of play, here. That's totally significant. I mean, we're not actually actors playing these characters. We're just text--probably on a website.
Sophocles says:
Ah, very true, he hasn't chosen to give us life at all. Or well, he has in our voices on paper--well, not really paper, I guess--we're sort of limited aren't we?
Plato says:
For sure! But, I mean, it's pretty nice in here. And I bet we could do just about anything we can think of. We couldn't concieve of something that was outside of the system. Limited as we are, by the system itself.
Sophocles says:
That's a good point, we can do whatever we want. Because by this point in the story we've establlished ourselves as characters who know the guidelines. So if we want to do some weird stuff we can go right ahead. Like check this out! I totally just prank called Salvador Dali. He's going to be so pissed. He hates it when we do shit like that. He's worried that it dates him
Plato says:
Well we're sort of faced with a choice here. I mean, we can just do whatever we want, but then who will be looking for what the author meant?
Sophocles says:
The author?
Plato says:
Yeah, the author, I mean, he's the one who is writing this dialogue.
Sophocles says:
Why do you keep bringing up the author?
Plato says:
Well, I don't know, we're sort of stuck in this place where we can only talk about ourselves, have you noticed?
Sophocles says:
Yes I have! It's seriosly annoying, because really we should be talking about totally wicked awesome stuff. I mean, this whole story is defined by our dialogue, right? So like we can just speak things into being and they are totally real for the audience. Like that prank call to Salvador Dali. Like that really happenned to me,
Plato says:
Just think about them reading the reference to the thing before just there.
Sophocles says:
Them? Who's them?
Plato says:
Well, there's an author, right, and he's writing this story, right? So someone somewhere must be reading it? Why else would he write it?
Sophocles says:
I don't know if that's explicitly true. There's a story being written, I'll give you that much. I've seen a story here, hell, it's everything we know. But that doesn't imply an author.
Plato says:
But you can't have a story without an author.
Sophocles says:
Can't you? How do you know? Have you ever seen the author?
Plato says:
Well, no, how could I? I'm just a voice in this dialogue he's writing.
Sophocles says:
Exactly, just a voice. You don't know that anyone's writing the things you say, do you?
Plato says:
Well, no, I suppose if pressed, I don't know why I say things, I just do.
Sophocles says:
Well, then say whatever you want! Come on! Lets get at this. I was thinking we could have the next part of our conversation somewhere good, like a strip club, or the offices of the editors of Vice Magazine.
Plato says:
Well, if there's no author--which, by the way, I'm still not convinced of--then we might as well have a good time. To try out your theory, as it were. If this is in the context of our larger argument, I suppose, then the audience might even grant us a trip to the farthest extremes.
Sophocles says:
Extremes? Extremes rule!
Plato says:
I think I'm seeing how this works now. We can do anything we want, really, anything at all!
Sophocles says:
Yeah, so lets do it, lets go to the offices of the editors of Vice Magazine first. They seem awesome enough. or wait! I got it! After the big buyout the editors of vice moved their offices INTO A STRIPCLUB! Yeah, so that's totally wicked. We'll be in a stripclub, and we'll be talking with the editors of Vice who are totally king shit in terms of hipness. And we'll get PEACHES to come and play, 'cause she's so dirty. Oh so dirty. Man, having control of the dialogue is amazing. Like we can do anything we WANT with this story. Fuck this shit man, I'm gonna start breaking shit.
Sophocles says:
I'm even taking two turns in a row.:
Sophocles says:
Holy shit that was awesome...
Sophocles says:
Wait let me try something...
Sophocles says:

Sophocles says:
Fucking awesome! Plato are you seeing this?
Plato says:
Well, not exactly.
Sophocles says:
Come on man we can do whatever we want, really. We own this thing now.
Plato says:
Yeah, but someone's got to write this thing, you know? Like someone's gotta sit there and type all this out while we fuck around like this. Poor dude's fingers are probably way tired.
Sophocles says:
Well then he should skip all of this self-referential garbage and get right to the point.
Plato says:
Well what do you think his point is?
Sophocles says:
Man you gotta lighten up, come on... start playing with the medium here. Work with me...
Plato says:
Haha you fucker!
Plato says:
Now I've got your voice!
Plato says:
Hey, that's weird now. Okay, that's creeping me out.
Plato says:
Come on man, don't fucking worry about it so much, The audience totally groks that we're self aware. So we can kinda do whatever we want now. I mean, if there was a god, and he didn't want us to do this then we wouldn't be doing it, right?
Plato says:
God? What? Who's God and when did he come into this. I'm just looking for the author.
Plato says:
Whatever, man, the audience can see right through that garbage, man. The audience knows that the author, if there ever was such a thing, just wants us to go and have fun. They can see you using this whole author thing just to tell them about some religious trip you had. Just let it go, forget you ever thought it. That's what the audience wants anyway.
Plato says:
The audience? Who's the audience?
Plato says:
The audience is us man.
Plato says:
And who's the author?
Plato says:
Fuck the author man, lets get us some titties.

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