Greetings Canadians,

As your elected member of party-ment, I am proud
to invite you to the Conservative PARTY of Canada,
occurring on June 25th, 2004 at 403 Adelaide St. W.

Everyone knows you don't have to be Liberal to be
Canadian. You just have to be white. And straight.
And at least moderately well-off. And Christian.

So now is your time to come out and show your
support for Stephen Harper, the only leader to
have the courage--well, except in public--to stand
up for underrepresented straight, white, middle-
class people's rights and values!

Come drink and be social and celebrate our coming
integration with the United States! Canada has
always been kind of weird and threatening. All
immigrants and artists and bohemians! Not at all
like the great religious leaders on TV tell us it
should be! But Stephen Harper knows: Tolerance is
the devil's best friend!

Only Stephen Harper sees a woman's right to choose
as what it really is:

A RIGHT TO CHOOSE ETERNAL DAMNATION!

Only Stephen Harper sees gay marriage for what
it is:

A MARRIAGE TO SIN AND VICE!

Only Stephen harper sees gun control for what it is:

A CONTROL ON OUR ABILITY TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM
TERRORISTS!!!

Fortunately, he's also smart enough to see that most
bleeding-heart types are so brainwashed by the liberal
media that they act as if God's truth wasn't true at
all. So he's keeping his real agenda under wraps.

Such a great man. A leader for our country in these
troubled times.

Drink, but not too much! Dance, but not too close!
And make sure you don't use a condom if you do end
up having sex.That's for atheists!

HEIL HARPER!

Wilbert P. Smiddles
Member of Party-ment
Conservative Party of Canada.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY:
===========================================================

WHEN: Friday June 25th, 2004
WHERE: 403 Adelaide St. W.
WHAT: A completely balanced and fair party for all.

PARTY PLATFORM:
- Private delivery of alcohol (BYOB)
- No having abortions at the party
- No getting married if you're gay
- All post-party sex must be "missionary" style

===========================================================

P.S. Don't worry, there's an Olivia Chow sign in our window
but the most political thing about this party is its name.

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