Other people wouldn’t like to hear you
If you said
That these are the best days
Of our lives
Other people turn around and laugh at you
If you said
That these are the best days
Of our lives

That's the chorus from a Blur song called Best Days.

These are supposed to be the best days of our lives: Young, carefree, still relatively attractive.

But isn't it a cruel trick of fate that our lives are so front-loaded?

I've said before that everyone gets to be cool once in their lives. So the secret is not using up your time too early. Kids who are cool in high school never end up being that cool later in life, somehow.

I'm not really ecstatic about being 27 when I graduate, but then I'd be a lot less ecstatic about not graduating at all. So maybe it's not so bad.

Where was I going with this?

I don't want it to be downhill from here. But I don't want to go uphill either. I'm kind of sick of moving in one direction or the other. I'm kind of tired of meeting people who already know me. I'm tired of forgetting names and feeling like a jerk.

I can only let people down, it feels like. I don't think I could ever drink enough, or smoke enough or eat enough mushrooms to surprise anyone anymore. I should probably give up trying.

It's so easy to be what other people want me to be that I've never really given enough thought to what I want me to be. It's all pretty easy, it's always been easy.

The hard part is suffering through the easy parts. Doing things that have to be done just because they have to be done.

There is no shortcut to the top of the mountain, just a long, straight climb.

But each step is its own. One step is the first, and one is the last. That's it.

What's making me think all of this? I guess it's Wall Street. I just watched it.

Is it better to have had it and lost it? Or to have never had it at all?

I guess it depends on what it is.

-Trevor

P.S. For future reference, I'm a lot more scared of you than you are of me.

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