Wednesday, February 02, 2005
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!URGENT! - MEMORANDUM - !URGENT!
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From : Trevor Coleman, C.E.O.
To : All BoringCorp Employees
Subject: Office Party - February 11th @ 403 Adelaide
***ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY!!!***
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Attention BoringCorp Employees,
I have received an urgent report from the accounting departyment that many departyments fell short of their party quotas last quarter. This is unacceptable.
All employees from the following departyments must attend a party-type gathering immediately or be reassigned permanently to the Departyment of Unpleasant Smells:
PARTY-DEFICIENT DEPARTYMENTS:
=========================+++===
* The Departyment of Awesome
* The Departyment of Panty Throwing
* The Departyment of Ironic Detachment
* The Departyment of Groucho Glasses
* The Departyment of Intoxication and Merriment
If your department is listed above, you should report on February 5th to 403 ADELAIDE ST W. (100m W. of Spadina). Bring adequate intoxicants and supplies to last all night. This is an overtime assignment.
As this is an office function, office-appropriate attire is required. Feel free to wear any uniforms that are a part of your work for BoringCorp and to share your work experiences with other employees.
This kind of unique teambuilding exercise is an example of the excellent community building work that has made BoringCorp one of 'Fortune Magazines Top 6,372 Compaines To Work For'.® I would like to recognize me for being great, and the rest of the company for working for me.
For any questions regarding the office appropriateness of your attire or other party-related business should be directed to me personally at trevor@awesomejumbo.com or 416-859-0921.
Like all of the management here at BoringCorp, I have an open-door policy. That means the door to my voice mail is always open to you.
Well, more like my secretaries' voice mail.
Yeah, I meant secretaries and not secretary. I'm the C.E.O. I need like, tons of secretaries.
See you Saturday,
-Trevor Coleman
Crazy Entertainment Officer
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BORINGCORP INTERNATIONAL
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123 Not A Real Company Way
Citysville, Somewhere, A1B 2C3
http://www.clickingthislinkwillgetyounowhere.com
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(Comments take a few minutes to appear!)
!URGENT! - MEMORANDUM - !URGENT!
====================================================
From : Trevor Coleman, C.E.O.
To : All BoringCorp Employees
Subject: Office Party - February 11th @ 403 Adelaide
***ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY!!!***
====================================================
Attention BoringCorp Employees,
I have received an urgent report from the accounting departyment that many departyments fell short of their party quotas last quarter. This is unacceptable.
All employees from the following departyments must attend a party-type gathering immediately or be reassigned permanently to the Departyment of Unpleasant Smells:
PARTY-DEFICIENT DEPARTYMENTS:
=========================+++===
* The Departyment of Awesome
* The Departyment of Panty Throwing
* The Departyment of Ironic Detachment
* The Departyment of Groucho Glasses
* The Departyment of Intoxication and Merriment
If your department is listed above, you should report on February 5th to 403 ADELAIDE ST W. (100m W. of Spadina). Bring adequate intoxicants and supplies to last all night. This is an overtime assignment.
As this is an office function, office-appropriate attire is required. Feel free to wear any uniforms that are a part of your work for BoringCorp and to share your work experiences with other employees.
This kind of unique teambuilding exercise is an example of the excellent community building work that has made BoringCorp one of 'Fortune Magazines Top 6,372 Compaines To Work For'.® I would like to recognize me for being great, and the rest of the company for working for me.
For any questions regarding the office appropriateness of your attire or other party-related business should be directed to me personally at trevor@awesomejumbo.com or 416-859-0921.
Like all of the management here at BoringCorp, I have an open-door policy. That means the door to my voice mail is always open to you.
Well, more like my secretaries' voice mail.
Yeah, I meant secretaries and not secretary. I'm the C.E.O. I need like, tons of secretaries.
See you Saturday,
-Trevor Coleman
Crazy Entertainment Officer
--------------------------------------------------------
BORINGCORP INTERNATIONAL
--------------------------------------------------------
123 Not A Real Company Way
Citysville, Somewhere, A1B 2C3
http://www.clickingthislinkwillgetyounowhere.com
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2 Comments:
Post a Comment(Comments take a few minutes to appear!)
copiergirl05 says:
Thank you so much!!!!! I work at a copy shop and love to come home and read your stories and know that we are not alone in this. So many times have I had a customer come in and ask the same shit. "How do you fax?" "Double sided copies?" We really do need a well written manual on that kind of stuff.
2:39 AM
Nobody in particular. says:
Hey copiergirl! Thanks for reading! I'm glad that my writings still bring amusement to the aproned crew!
-Trevor
5:43 AM
(It's okay. You've reached the end of the page. There's still more to read under "This Was Awesome" up near the top of the page.)
Awesome people so far: