New beginnings come quick these days, almost fast enough to keep up with the endings. So here I am, months later, bringing back the old blog.

Here's how I feel right now:

Uncertain, exhilerated, guilty, annoyed, frustrated, scattered, regretful, ashamed, hesitant, grasping, longing, remorseful, desperate, lonely, uneasy, trapped, relieved, hopeful, isolated, apathetic, repressed, defensive.

It's that kind of morning.

Where to go from here? That's maybe the question that I want to answer in this, I guess. What's the next step. If I can keep coming up with answers to that question fast enough, I'll be running before I know it.

But answers are slow in coming. Maybe I ought to look behind me, not all steps take you where you're facing. Sometimes a detour is in order.

Enough! No more walking metaphor. It tires me.

Tired is where I am nowadays. No sleep, no life outside of the bizarre fantasy that makes up my day to day. But really it's not as bad as it seems, how could it be when it seems so amazing?

When all roads lead downhill, is that a blessing, (gravity's with you buddy!) or a curse (rock bottom's just over that cliff!)? Like the bowling ball game at Canada's Wonderland, but with no rubber bumper and an ever increasing set of hills: You gotta have just the right push to stop at the top, otherwise no stuffed parrot for you.

I don't want to make this too long, it's probably hard enough to read as it is. Let me just toss in a picture:



It's the most Vice picture ever taken of me. Ha!

-Trevor

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